Bondage

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Guide to Beginner's Bondage


In a recent survey, 76% of young women said they'd given bedroom bondage a whirl, with 68% getting nifty with restraints and 18% whipping out blindfolds.

If you're intrigued by bondage (there's no harm in a silk blindfold and a light smack, right?) but worried about taking it any further?

Just follow this Guide to Basic Bondage and you'll be whipping up an orgasm in no time...

‘Bondage' usually means any practice that involves sexual restraint. The sensation of being physically held back from expressing passion can heighten your excitement.

Beginner:
You might not know if you prefer to tie-up or be tied; so find out by taking turns. Either you'll love the role-play of dominating or prefer to be submissive. For beginners - all you need is two silk scarves, one for each wrist, and a bed-head to fasten them to. Touch each other all over, but stop if your arms ache - there's nothing sexy about a pulled muscle...

Advanced:
Explore the sensation of being completely held down, with handcuffs at each wrist and ankle. He can tease you with oral sex, stopping just before you come. Or tie him up and climb on top, tantalising him with the promise of sex but staying just out of reach.

Blind Man:
Not being able to see puts all your nerves on red alert. It also requires you to put your trust in a partner - a sexy act of total surrender. Needless to say, you should never do this with someone you don't feel 100% secure with. Use an elasticated silk mask, so if you feel uneasy - or uncomfy - you can slip it off.

Beginners:
Play a blindfold guessing game. He holds his hand - or a feather - just millimetres from your skin, and you guess where it is. If you get it right, he has to touch or kiss you there - then it's his turn. Of course, you're not allowed to use your hands to check; it's all on instinct, which heightens your sexual awareness.

Advanced:
Combine the blindfold with bondage for a sensual adventure. Let him tie you up, blindfold you, and caress you all over, teasing you by refusing to touch your breasts or clitoris. Then do the same to him - before finally giving in to the orgasm that's been building for hours.

Spanky Pants:
Lovers of a good spanking insist that it makes blood rush to their buttocks, and all their nerves tingle. Practised spankers know exactly how hard to slap, and how long to pause in between for maximum excitement - but as a total beginner, you'll need to build up your tolerance gradually.


Beginners:
Start with a light slapping motion, and agree a word that means "stop" - one that's so incongruous you couldn't possibly use it in the throes of passion. (Hedgehog, teapot...you get the picture). You're aiming at lightly warmed buttocks, not flaming red six-of-the-best marks. Take turns - but if you feel humiliated, or abused in any way, stop right there. Remember, it's supposed to be fun.

Advanced:
If you've tried a bit of lively spanking and enjoyed it, you may be ready to move on to actual props - like a paddle. This is a stick with a piece of leather attached, similar to a flat hairbrush, which delivers a safe smack. You can also try a small whip, but always build up gradually - and let him rub soothing lotion in afterwards.

Dress it up:
Part of the buzz of bondage is dressing up. Of course, you can do the whole thing stark naked if you prefer, but black leather, PVC, stilettos and catsuits are all popular options - and very few men will fail to be moved by the sight of their girlfriend in skin-tight sex-wear. Options for men are somewhat less thrilling - although some girls do like a nice leather trouser. But, if the thought of him in leather jocks isn't floating your boat, you may be happier for him to keep his Calvins on

Beginners:
High heels are essential - the strappier the better. You may not actually want to walk on him, but the mere suggestion will do. You can also suggest the power of domination with a black corset or bustier and stockings. Adjust your body language to match, with bold poses that show off your figure - particularly if he's not allowed to touch.

Advanced:
PVC is a lot easier to get on and off than old-school rubber, and it's highly flattering. A corset or catsuit with peep-holes will drive him wild, and if you're really going for it, thigh-high boots are a must. Masks are often used in bondage, too - it's always easier to dominate if he can't see you grinning.

Role Play:
Bondage lends itself brilliantly to role play. There's the evil dominatrix and trembling slave, the tied-up wench and wicked master, the twisted teacher and naughty pupil - all perfectly good sex games in their own right. But when you add an element of control and ‘punishment', it becomes even more exciting. The trick is not to laugh -the better you act, the higher the sexual tension.


Beginners:
If you're a bit nervous, it's often easier to play the ‘in control' persona, because acting powerfully will boost your confidence. Get into character, and tell him he's been bad. Very, very bad. If you run out of threats, you can always ask him how he thinks he should be punished. He's bound to have an idea or two.

Advanced:
By now, you may have a strong preference for being the submissive or the dominatrix in the relationship. If not, use role play to work it out. Describe the scene (sex slave auction, mid evil underground prison...) while you tie her/him up and whip her/him. Remain in character at all times - though again, you'll need a 'safe word' that means stop. And if it's you being tied up, role play can help you surrender control completely. And don't forget, just because you're experimenting with bondage doesn't mean you have to forgo other areas of your sex life. Try giving each other a sexy massage afterwards and if you like using sex toys, you can still incorporate them into your role-play arena.

Clampdown:
Nipple clamps - and for the truly brave, clit-clamps (eeek!) boost blood flow to your erogenous zones, and heighten sensitivity. There's also the sheer naughtiness of knowing that you're highlighting your most private areas, purely for sexual delight. It can, however, be painful if you're not careful - getting the pressure right is an extremely delicate balance.

Beginners:
If you enjoy having your nipples squeezed, consider investing in a little chain with clamps - they can be adjusted as tightly (or loosely) as you like (let him tug on it gently for extra kicks).

Advanced:
Who knew you could actually buy clit clamps? While it sounds agonising, in reality the clamp delivers firm but gentle pressure and resembles a little pair of wire tweezers. Wear it secretly first, to get yourself thoroughly worked up - then let him know all about it.

Safety:
Many people regard bondage as safe when conducted between sober, trusted partners who are fully aware of the risks involved and the precautions necessary to ensure safety. Partners who are in committed relationships may have a greater basis for trusting each other. Adhere to the following tips and your bondage experience will be asking for more and more...

Tips to Remember:
  • The use of a "safeword", or some clear way for the subject to indicate genuine distress and a wish to discontinue

  • Never leaving a bound person alone

  • Avoiding positions or restraints which may induce postural asphyxia.

  • Making sure that the subject changes positions at least once an hour (to avoid circulation problems)

  • Making sure that the subject can be released quickly in an emergency

  • Avoiding restraints which impair breathing

  • Remaining sober; alcohol and drugs should be avoided

  • Ask the subject every so often if he or she is all right

  • Check body parts like hands and feet for numbness or coldness or discoloration

  • AND

  • Have a pair of EMT scissors, useful for safely cutting rope and tape off skin
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